


Kiryuuin Chronicles

by Amoridere



Series: Stand Alones [1]
Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Dysfunctional Family, Family Secrets, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-13 02:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 5,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3363740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amoridere/pseuds/Amoridere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stand alone story I started with an idea in my head</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Intro

It was raining the day we had returned, yet no amount of rain could ever wash away what has happened those years ago. When built on the wrong foundations, things crumbled, as I always knew, and, yet, I've pitied them both but what of us and those involved? Like theirs, when their lives crumbled, so did ours and, to save ourselves, we were given no choice, so we fled, hiding away, waiting. Waiting for what? I do not know but I know we waited.

I remember not how long it had been since the secretary took us and we escaped but I can reflect on the years before. She's gone now and only us remain. I remember them well up until our escape from the dreaded place. My little sisters have grown and one is almost blind. They have such very little recollection, yet I have the most. We are here, now, looking off into the distance of that ruined house, the house where it all began, the house that she, a victim of her own madness, torched, hoping it'll all burn, yet the wreckage survived and the story remained, for some time, yet untold, until now.


	2. The Beginning

I was born first, the first born to what people call a "prestigious family". Of course, that was what the outside thought and it was a lie that I had believed as well. All is not entirely right and looks can be deceiving. My parents seemed to have really loved one another and, maybe, they did, although that doesn't explain the hand-print on Mama's face. _If they loved one another, then why did she have a slap mark on her face?_ Rei told me not to ask questions like that to my parents, telling me, "Sometimes, people hurt each other."

Rei was a kind, yet very frightened soul, and she did more raising than either of my parents. Since birth, she's looked after me, protecting me from forces I was far too young to understand. She loved me dearly and would sacrifice anything to protect me. That was clear, from my point of view, however, it was also clear it was causing her pain. Mama knew this, yet tasked her with taking care of me anyway. According to Rei, Mama couldn't take care of me and that I shouldn't fret too much, as other kids of wealthy parents aren't looked after by their parents. She knew I couldn't pretend it didn't hurt and often told me, "Dove, I'll take you away from this place, just wait."

She never did say when.


	3. Baby Sisters and a Burned White Dress

Some years had passed since I was born and Rei would have a couple more little girls to look after. Initially, she was skeptical, as, before, Mama often had miscarriages, along with the fact that she had much difficulty conceiving, thus I was special in that I didn't die before I was born, as far as I knew. Rei did state I was special, however, Mama started to have miscarriages long after I was born. She never did tell me why that was, although, I figured Father didn't want any more children, a thought I couldn't dwell on too much, as it frightened me of its implications. Usually, Rei would warn me of thinking like that but she didn't, although, she did tell me to not let them drive me to madness.

In that note, as I remembered about Mam's miscarriages, I remembered how her dresses and makeup covered up her bruises. The ones on her arms and face, I couldn't see but the ones I did see were on her legs, particularly her ankles and calves. I was never allowed to ask why she was covered in bruises or why, at some point in time, I wasn't allowed to ask about her bloodied white dress. The very white dress she had tearfully burned and it was her _favorite_ dress. She burned it until it was nothing but ashes in the fireplace. I always supposed she burned it because blood cannot be so easily washed out of a white dress but the real reason was far more deeper than that and I had thus reason to be frightened by the implications. I was told they _loved_ each other, a lie that I had so naively believed. 

Anyway, Rei was proven wrong in her skepticism, as Mam really was going to have a baby, and, for once, in a long time, I had seen her, with a large belly. Some time, afterward, Mama can home with a pink bundle. A baby sister, to whom was named Ryuuko or, as she was called, "Pidge." Like me, Pidge was raised by Rei, who resolved to raise her alongside me. Some time after Pidge was born, Mam was pregnant again and gave birth to Nui. She's got a nickname, too, and she was dubbed "Finch." By then, Rei had three little girls to look after, Pidge, Finch, and me.   


	4. That Night

Even though Pidge and Finch could sleep well at night, I could not. There was yelling and screaming, then begging and pleading, and then crying and things breaking. I could her voice screaming, _"No, no, please, I'll behave, I promise._ " As soon as I heard those words in her voice, I found myself running to Rei's room and, to my surprise, she was just frightened. Carrying me in her arms, she brought me back to my room, placed me in bed, and said, " ** _Satsuki_** , stay here and be quiet." There was urgency and fear in her voice, something that left no room to argue, the fact I was called my real name made this clear.

Outside, a storm raged, just as it did inside. I wanted to cry out, really, I did, yet I found I could not. I pulled the blankets over my head and prayed for it all to go away, to take my sisters and I out of here or just kill us all. Like Mam and her dress, I wanted it all to burn. Outside of the door, in the hallway, I heard Rei say, _"Please, don't punch me, its not my fault, I swears it!"_ From the sound of her screams and the fact that she had fallen against the door, I assumed he punched her. When she had fallen against the door a second time, I found myself scurrying to the closet and staying there for the rest of the night, for fear he would come after me, too.

Their screams grew as louder, as they vainly fought to protect themselves from his blows. Through their screams, I could hear my sisters' cries. I was helpless, unable to do anything. I was told to stay put and that was that. In the end, it served no good, as I found myself to be on the receiving end of his blows when I was snatched out of the closet and hurled into a wall early the next morning. To my relief, my baby sisters were unharmed, although never again could they sleep so peacefully.


	5. Mam's Illness

Mam didn't seem to right after that, actually, her mind was starting to go. In her delirious mind, She reacted horribly to being touched and was far more apathetic than she should be and that wasn't all, as she seemed to be unaware, along with screaming for her missing babies and servant, begging us to come back, even when we hadn't gone, and then attacking us when she perceived us as threat to her "precious" or being the cause of us being perceived "missing" or "stolen". She was slipping away from us and the beatings she had taken had only made it worse. Death will have been a worthy reward for someone to had suffered that much and yet deserved none of it.

I had no comprehension of why she was beaten so badly and I had no comprehension of what was the matter with her. Once again, Rei gave an explanation as she only she could give. "Sometimes, people hurt each other and hurt other people, which is true. However, what is the matter with your mother is that she is ill and that is because _he_ hurt her." She wasn't lying, as living with someone like that would make her ill. Of course, living with someone like that, someone that beats the one they supposedly loved, is going to make someone sick, however, Rei wasn't talking about that kind of "sickness", she was talking about the kind of sickness that we couldn't see, the kind that affected her mind. It was madness, as she called it, although the proper term as I would later learn would be "mental illness". Mama was mentally ill and she didn't ask and neither did she deserve to live like this. _No one_ does! Neither did we, which is why Rei has made it her resolve to take us away from there some day.

As much as it hurt, I knew, that if or when we got out of there, she couldn't take a maddened Mam with her. Deep within, Mam will have preferred it no other way. She probably knew this was her fate, yet she was tormented by what she couldn't do and that was to protect her babies and the servant she cared for ever so. She had so much stolen from her and she had truly lost what she could never hope to regain.


	6. Mam's Lilies and her Forgotten Name

Even as the beatings grew worse, Rei still didn't want me to think about it. He always hit me, yet, to my relief, never them, Pidge and Finch, even if I be as guiltless as they are. To cheer me up after these beatings, she started to take me outside to look at the flowers. According to her, Mam liked flowers, particularly lilies, thus her garden was always full of them and why she would recreate them in any art form. By all implications of Rei's stories about Mama and her beloved flowers, her name may as well have been "Lily". Of course, that wasn't her name, actually, her name was "Ragyo" but she isn't called that, not even by Rei.

As I thought about her lilies, I wondered if she remembered that "Ragyou" was her name, then again, as far as she knew, her name wasn't "Ragyou" and that it was, as he called her, "Bitch". I don't' recall him ever saying her name, no, she was always "Bitch", just "Bitch". Other than what he called her, she was never called anything else, never being referred to by name. I could never figure out how to rationalize that and thought that everyone forgot her name. I knew her name, yet no one else seemed to, so, perhaps, I'd give her new name, one that we would remember. I had dubbed Mam "Lily" and "Lily" she would always be. As I thought about the new name I had given her, I remembered the dress she had burned, her favorite one.

It was the dress with the lilies.


	7. The Cursed Diary's Revelation

I was really happy that he wasn't home when I happened upon something I really thought I shouldn't have. It was a diary and it was Mam's. Of course, as far as I knew, one wasn't supposed to know what's in a diary, yet, I was so curious that it didn't matter, although I had a feeling that I wasn't tell anyone about reading that diary. He'd hurl me through a window if he found out that I had read Mam's diary, let alone found and had it in my possession, the thought of which was far worse than being whacked with a thick belt. I've seen what he's capable, thus I was initially afraid to read the diary and felt the need to get rid of it, of course, I didn't know how or what else to do.

 _"Open it! Open it!"_ was what the diary seemed to say, should it have had a voice. In my mind, it did, yes, actually, it was the sinister yet innocent voice of temptation and curiosity. I was swayed and thus opened the forbidden book. I found myself on the first page, the entry of which was titled _"Sold."_

* * *

 

_We are rich, I know, yet, my family gives me no real control, especially, when it comes for to me find love. I'm not really sold, however, I may as well be, seeing as I haven't much a choice between a marriage to someone I don't really know, let alone, isn't sure if I've met, or being disowned, thus I am sold. According to my parents, they say someone nice will marry me, that they've picked someone nice, and, to be honest, I pray that he'll love me and that our marriage will be a happy one, as I do not see a way out of this. This marriage is arranged, I know, and I pray that it won't be unpleasant. Metaphorically, I am sold to the one they picked and I am sold to what they call a suitable aspiration. In all honesty, I believe said aspiration is suitable if the person is allowed to choose it and, yes, I did want to get married but now just seems so soon and I don't even know him._

_Since these are private pages, I shall note that currently I am engaged, as my parents wished. Anyway, on the note of the one I am to marry, I must note that he is rather aloof and distant, however, I suppose he has reason to be, after all, this is but a pragmatic engagement, so there isn't much passion in it, not at this point. As I write, I have a confession and that is I am pregnant by and in love with someone I refuse to disclose the identity of. I suppose that what I am trying to note is that I hope this marriage will work for the sake of my baby._

_\---Ragyou_

* * *

 

As I've said before, I was told they loved each other, thus being lied to, actually, the truth was that she wanted him to love her and was forced into this marriage. As far as I had known, it was my fault that she had all of these bad things happening to her because she was pregnant with me at the time she had gotten married, let alone the fact that she was forced into this marriage because of said pregnancy, thus because of me. The realization wasn't a good one.

Snapped out of reality and convulsing on the floor at the realization, I was to find myself slapped in the face and shaken. It was Rei and she looked fearful yet again. Was he home? No, he wasn't, actually, he wouldn't be home until after I've gone to bed. “What in the hell were you doin' reading thi--I'm taking this!” she had spoken quickly, putting the cursed diary back to where I had found it. She then held me very close and whispered, “Your mother never blamed you and neither is it your fault.” Through tears, I silently expressed my disbelief, to which she said, “The one they made her marry is an S.O.B, one of the worst I had ever seen, and he deserves to rot in hell. S.O.Bs need no explanation.” She was, as only she can, reassuring me that he had no reason to treat me that us that way and that it wasn't our fault.

That night, as odd as it seemed, Mam had a moment of clarity and I found myself visited by her. She was stroking my hair, before she held me in her arms for a little while. As she put me back, she kissed me on the forehead, saying, _“So sorry, I love you.”_  She stroked my hair a final time before leaving the room with tears streaming down her face.


	8. Releasing the Dove

I never did get why she nicknamed me "Dove" but I often supposed Rei had a thing for birds, being fond of them. Of course, birds reminded her of something that she nor any of us could do and that was fly, yet, at the same, they probably reminded her of how caged we are. In her room, she had a pet dove, something that he also didn't lay a finger on, to whom she had adressed as "Budgie". At the time, I thought it was a very funny name to give to a bird that isn't what its name will have suggested, yet she named it Budgie. How Budgie came to be her pet was something I never did know and it was a story she would never tell. Of course, Budgie was her pet long before I was born and was probably her only confidant. I don't have too many memories of Budgie, however, I do remember that day that she had set it free.

With me in the room, she had walked over to its cage and carried it to the window. Tears were streaming down her face and she opened the bird's cage. She coaxed it onto her hand, asking, "What caged bird doesn't want to be free?" She then opened the window and let it out. Budgie was free and, as we watched, it had flown over to the willow tree, where it had sang. Of course, she had loved this bird and that bird was a part of her, so for her to release it, was like releasing some part of her soul. "Why'd you do it, Rei?" I had asked, to which she's responded, "Sometimes, we have to let go and it'd be cruel to keep her in a cage, so, rather than keep her, I decided to let her go. She wouldn't have survived otherwise and, someday, like Budgie, we'll be free, never again to return."


	9. The Fire that Had Set Us Free

She was mad and that was true, however, someone can only put up with abuse for so long. The house held those years of abuse and she wanted it all to burn but, more importantly, she wanted to destroy him along with it. She was forced to marry him and he had beaten her, battered her, used and abused her and she wanted to destroy the house, her memories, and him, releasing those years of pent-up rage and pain. Rei always told me she would take us away from there some day and that night was the night she had done it. The night we had all escaped and the fire that set us free, a night I had remembered so well.  
  
It was late and the snow was not yet on the ground, although it was cold outside. It was oddly peaceful, as I had remembered, the silence before the storm. My sisters and I were sleeping so soundly. The next thing I had known was that I was being shaken awake. I didn't quite know what was going on, until I heard Rei's voice saying, "We have to get out of here, Satsuki, and we have to get out of here, **_NOW!_** " When I managed to open my eyes, I saw her cradling my still sleeping baby sisters and I knew something wasn't right. As I stood staring, she seized me by the arm and we hurried down the stairs and out of the front door.  
  
As we were running away, I looked back and saw the flames and heard a mix of cackling and sobbing. Even though it was futile and tears were streaming down my face, I found myself reaching for her and calling out,  _" Mama!"_ I would be years before we would return and, at the time, I didn't know if she had survived the flames. Rei had taken us away from there as she had promised. She had taken us and we had fled the house of so much torment, sorrow, pain, and abuse.   
  
As far as I had known, we were free.


	10. A Loving Goodbye and a Deathbed Revelation

**Music playing** : [Obokuri-Eeumi](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Deu6u8nyhTc)by Ikue Asazaki

* * *

 We had soon found ourselves living in a house for the homeless. Life there was difficult, although we had preffered it to living a life of fear and anguish. Off and on we had fallen ill, although Nui lost a bit of her sight to it and Rei's health didn't seem to improve. As the seasons had passed, she had grown weaker and weaker, until she could barely get out of bed. Like she had done for me years before, I had returned the favor by taking care of her and my sisters.

Even as she was ill and while my sisters stayed with her in the homeless house, I tried to continue on with my days as normally as I could only hope to. I went to school and, once, took a job cleaning up the homeless house. She would reassure me and tell me all was fine, even though, within our hearts, we knew it wasn't. To be honest, I am happy that Pidge and Finch had no comprehension of death, although, I did wish they were so naive that they couldn't grasp exactly what was wrong. Something within told me that Rei's time was limited and that we couldn't pretend anymore and neither did we have to any longer.

I knew all wasn't entirely right when I had returned to the homeless house from school. Outside, there was a black car and an ambulance. An elderly woman in a black dress stood speaking to me, explaining to me that Rei was taken to the hospital. She had taken us to the hospital to see her. The sight was distressing and she was hooked up to some medicine and a machine. The doctor explained that there wasn't much that could really be done and that she might not survive the night or even the next two hours. He offered his sincerest condolences. My worst fears were realized and, true to said fears, she was dying.

I quickly grabbed her hand and begged her not to leave us, to which she responded, "I'm sorry, Dove, sweet little Dove, I haven't a choice, however, while my time be short, I shall take the time tell you that I love you all and the best years of my life were taking care of you, Pidge, and Finch. Whilst I am dying, I must confess that I gave the social worker a note for you to have, the which you will find out everything you need, including where your father is. Thank you for being with me, I love you, and goodnight, ....fore...ev...er..."

Her hand had gone limp and machine had flatlined. Some part of me wanted to wake her, even though she was gone. The person who had looked after us since birth was gone, gone for good. She was trapped, yet she had sacrificed, endured, lost, and promised so much and, in the end, she was free, like the caged bird that she was. The next day, her funeral was a quiet one. I had helped planned it and she was buried under a willow tree.

After her funeral, I had left a lone lily on her grave.

.


	11. The Letter

It had taken me some time to find the strength to read the letter that she had left behind. She left it behind for a reason and she's intended it for me to read it. It was her final gift and, yet, I couldn't even find the strength to read it. Of course, after being on the receiving end of abuse and then tragedy, I suppose I was afraid that the letter would thrust us, now alone, into even more pain. I was afraid of my heart being broken again and I was even more terrified we would never be reunited with my father or that he'd want anything to do with us. However, I would realize all fears will have had to be faced and that I wouldn't know unless I had read the letter that she had left behind.

Some time, about less than a year after her death and while we were staying in a children's home, I finally mustered up the courage to read the letter. The birds were chirping and it was a light rain. Ryuuko and Nui were sound asleep. I had pulled the envelope out of my belongings and opened it.

* * *

 

_Dearest Dove,_

_If you are reading this, then this means my time is almost up or that I have passed on and has left you behind me. Anyway, I have some secrets I may as well confess and they are very important, also it is equally important you read each and every word. I have always intended to bring you back to your father, Soichiro Kiryuuin, yet was unable to due to circumstance, however, I did track down his whereabouts, you are to go this address: 2143 Sorrows Pass Townhomes on Poker Street in Rye. Show this address to a social worker and, that way, you'll be well taken care of. I should have told you this earlier, I'm so sorry and there is no excuse for waiting this long._

_Since, I have confessed that, I should also note that now is time to confront the past, cast it aside, and face what's ahead. I apologize that I cannot face it with you but it is something that must be done. Your sisters need you to look ahead and it will be frightening for you all but do, not try, do. Please grant my final wishes. Take care of your sisters and find your father._

_I am sorry to have left you so soon_

_\----With love,_  
                 Rei

* * *

 

After reading the letter, I found myself in tears, sobbing hysterically. I had cried for about a few hours before finally stopping. I was to find my father but, in order to move forward, I needed to go back to where it all began.


	12. Confronting the Past

**Music Playing** :  _[AdラLib](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2TU0PHKe4o)_  by Hiroyuki Sawano _  
_

* * *

Like I said before, no amount of rain could ever wash away what has happened those years ago. We stood, staring off into the distance of what remained of that house. That house was so full of suffering and pain, bitter remnants of the past. To move forward, I had to confront the past, thus that is why, after so long of hiding away, we came back, after a wait without a known reason. We returned to confront what made us flee, so we could move forward and leave it all behind yet again.

As it rained, we walked towards the house. There wasn't too much of it that remained, seeing as Mam tried to burn it all to the ground, however not all was destroyed. We walked in through the parts that were intact and up the stairs. My room remained almost untouched by the fire, as did theirs. As we went further down what remained of the hallway, we came to Rei's room. My eyes welled in tears, especially when I spotted the charred remains of the birdcage where Budgie used to reside.

As tears fell from my eyes, I spotted something that survived the fire. A small tin box, inside of which were photographs of us and Mam, along with a pearl necklace and a rather large sum of money. I picked it up and brought it with me. We ventured further and found Mam's room. Very little remained apart from the doorway and a few-- _her_ \-- bloodstains in the floor.

I stared long and hard at the remains of her room, remembering how much she suffered and all the rage she had building up inside her. As I thought and remembered, I had realized her sacrifice. She couldn't take care of us because of him and was trying to protect us as only she could, just like Rei was. Funny, I had almost found myself crying out for her and Rei. Even though I was with my sisters and would soon be reunited with my real father, I felt utterly alone. As the tears fell, I had could feel Rei's embrace yet again, before it faded away. _Goodbye Rei, thank you._

As the painful memories left my thoughts, I was confronted and comforted by the bittersweet memory of Mam holding me during her moment of clarity and how she told me that she loved me and that she was so sorry. Now, I wondered what had happened to her. Did she survive the fire or did she kill herself along with him in it? I don't know, although I do know that I called out for her

As the rain and tears subsided, we made our way back to the children's home, so we can show the social workers the letter with the address.


	13. The Healing of Wounds

Not too long after my father was made aware of our whereabouts, we were sent to live with him. As to be expected, I was afraid that he'd send us back, however, the opposite happened. Instead of rejection, we were greeted with an embrace, the sort of loving embrace we had long missed. From what I had known, he wanted very much to meet us and we in turn.

He took very good care of us and often told us stories. He also promised that he'll protect us from Mam's family's influences and that things will be better. Some time after we had moved in, he had moved us out of Sorrows Pass and into a medium sized house. Some time afterward, he opted to try and track down Mam's whereabouts. It turns out she had survived the fire and was recovering in a mental hospital. Daddy opted to bring her home with him when she was mentally stable enough, something that she didn't refuse, actually, she was rather happy to reunited with her children and the love she was forced to abandon.

Slowly, as time passed, our wounds began to heal and we started to move forward. He was gone, burning in hell, and never again will he hurt us. Rei was gone, a caged bird set free, yet, somewhere I could feel her watching over us forever. I would never forget all that has happened, yet I am able to leave it behind, let it be blown away with the ashes of the house.


End file.
